Community building requires community healing. And what does that look like?

"Staying ‘home’ and not venturing out from our own group comes from woundedness, and stagnates our growth. To bridge means loosening our borders, not closing off to others….To bridge is to attempt community, and for that we must risk being open to personal, political, and spiritual intimacy, to risk being wounded."- Gloria Anzaldua

"Quedarse en la casa'' y no aventurarse fuera de nuestro propio grupo viene donde estamos heridos y proviene nuestro crecimiento. Para hacer puentes signifa que abriemos mas de nuestras fronteras y que no cierremos a otros… Para hacer puentes es intentar comunidad, y para eso tenemos que corre el riesgo de ser abierto a personal, político y espiritual intimidad, a correr el riesgo de ser heridos. "
Gloria Anzaldua

Everybody is waiting for the movement to happen ! And we dont realize we are the movement. Its me and you coming together and having some honest and maybe painful truthtelling between us. But there is probably some beautiful thing we will create together as a result. I want to speak to each person in my community.Let's get the party going.

Todo el mundo está esperando a que el movimiento a ocurrir! Y nosotros no darse cuenta de que somos el movimiento. Comienza la communidad cuando usted y yo tienemos algunos conversaciones doloroso pero verdarosos . Pero es probable que algunos bellos cosas que es probablemente vamos a crear juntos . Quiero hablar con cada person en mi communidad.Vamos a comienzar esta fiesta !

Friday, June 26, 2009

Revolutionary Artist

"The role of the revolutionary artist is to make revolution irresistible." —Toni Cade Bambara, Writer and activist

As an artist, writer and actvist, I am fascinated to hear artists talk about their art and what they were trying to express. Some people are artists for the attention or fame or ego rush. I was at an art show last night and I never thought Id be hanging out with local artists,the art world, or the fashion world. As a matter of fact, I poo poo the pretentiousness I usually find at these functions. And I hate most art. I want to be wowpowed. Im usually bored with most art or written word but at the same time I am always excited with all the good stuff I can get my hands or eyes on. And as for fashion, I like to be comfortable. I hated it when all the girls when i was coming of age, were into getting dressed up and into the latest fads. But nearing age 50 , I need and want to be polished. I have done some hard work on myself and I am proud of it. Its like polishing up the vintage sportscar that you personally restored. I am a work of art. Y I know it. Prince said cool was self respect. I am cool. I respect myself. No chingues.
I think all art should heal something either for the artist or the viewer/reader/listener. So in my opinion, an artist is a healer. Otherwise, its masturbation. Anybody can make something pretty but can your art move people to a more sacred space or peaceful state.
But really, all I see are people looking for the attention they never got enough of when they were little in their art. Some people just slap paint on the canvas and there is no thought or conciousness to it. they groove to their own ego. And what about truthtelling in art ? Are you doing an honest expression or copycatting?I hate copycats. What made sad about Mexico was when I saw Mexicans trying to be as American standard. Can we be original?
i have to struggle with my art. I fight the censors and doubt of myself. I feel my work is worthless but I know better. So I keep on and pick up the paintbrush even if it kills me to do it.I have bittersweet memories when I am creating.Then I am shocked what my new self has created. And I cant believe I did THAT!
The picture above is of my mama y grandma. I wasnt sure what would come out when I took this. I hadnt even realized they both had on pink. This photo makes me smile for some reason. I guess its because its what is so common to me-two Mexican ladies behind the wheel of a car in a big modern city-Dallas, isnt a sight we put much thought into even if youre Mexican yourself! And I like the bright ass pink and orange air freshner from the rearview mirror against the dull city color. I think the photo makes you wonder about the conversation between the two and the music on the radio. I dunno, but it makes me laugh that perhaps I have taken you to my world for once!
These are my thoughts for right now. I am gonna put some recent pieces of my art that I have sold and talk about my process for each of them. All my art has a story.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Rescue the Word By Marilyn Buck

sacred words are in danger
fugitives, they seek cover
bury themselves alive
shamed by the profane
purposes they are forced to servedressed in lily-white lies
words are in danger
english only vows
to tear out tongues
exiled witnesses
to collective memory and homeland ties
sacred words are in danger
trapped, they hang on billboards
judas-goats to conjure deception
sing them shout them
teach themwear them
around your neck
amulets against amnesia

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Evy and Healing

The following is from my friend, Evelyn Escamilla de Chicago via Tejas via Monterrey Mexico.I have been following Evy and talking to her for a few months about her back pain. When I was last in Tejas, we couldnt hook up for me to do some bodywork on her. I kept saying her problem was emotional and not to get the surgery. Her insurance didnt want to pay for it and I had told her a few months ago , there probably was a good reason why she hadnt gotten approved. Now after you read this, we all know why...
When I talked to her today, she was still processing everything.
I love going to Mexico and meeting traditional healers like Don Pedro, who does spine adjustments in the plaza de San Juan de los Lagos, Jalisco or Enriqueta Contreras, the partera de Oaxaca.
This is the kind of story that gives all of us hope and faith in something sacred that we all have lost and hope to find again.And this is hard to do in an industrial world.
Thanks Evy for being so open about your experience.

I writing from Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, México. I have been here since Tuesday. I usually don't like to travel South in the Summer months because of the hellish heat one suffers from while visiting but this time, our trip had a purpose other that visiting family.
As many of you know, I've suffered terribly from a ruptured disc since April 21, 2008. I have put my body and pocket book through the ringer. I tried chiropractic to relieve my pain. I did acupuncture daily for the longest time to help as well. Heat therapy, Cold therapy, massage, spine decompression & inversion ( which helps by the way ), four nerve blocks in my spine, hundreds of ibuprofen, hydrocodone, and other nasty narcotics that have ruined my digestive system. I have tried prayer... yes... I know some of you are in shock.
I am a very spiritual woman. I do not practice any religion but believe in a power not easily defined.I reached the conclusion last August that I would like to undergo disc replacement surgery as offered by my medical team headed by my orthopedic surgeon. Disc replacement and fusion of my vertebrae were the two options. I was initially denied by my insurance company. I underwent the grueling, painstaking process of practicing patience for nine months while we appealed their decision three times.
The final decision came in May where Blue Cross Blue Shield denied for the last time stating that due to my age and the length of time disc replacement surgery had been around for, it was too risky. It was unsure how my body would react to the new disc and that there would be a possibility of further surgeries down the line. Arghhhhh! Mother Fu&*ers!So for almost 14 months, I have relied on my parents, on Cynthia, and my amazing girlfriends (you know who you are). It has been a humbling experience. I have learned to let go and let the pieces fall where they may. It has been difficult. I am a control freak and you all know that. I have learned to appreciate... truly appreciate the tiniest things. I have incredible children who I have learned are compassionate. They are appreciative, helpful, and generous. I am so very fortunate.Anyway, back to my trip.
I came to Monterrey because my youngest sister had mentioned a doctor/healer man a friend of her was seeing. My sister, her husband, and my mom have also visited Dr. Gabriel Garcia for various ailments. I heard all kinds of incredible stories of his healing power so I decided to come see him. I am very practical and the strictest of skeptics so my decision to see the shaman was due to my desperation. I decided to visit blindly. I did not research him nor his credentials online.I visited La Esperanza Friday morning. We walked into a waiting room. It was all pretty formal. We paid our fee and got a number, 8. There must have been 30 parties waiting. I watched as people paraded in and back out of the consultation rooms. There were two. Every person that walked out had an amazing smile on her/his face. It seemed that the visits were very short. Under 5 minutes.
My number was called and my mom went in with me. She wanted to make sure that the doctor knew that she had "finally" brought me in to see him. He asked what was wrong. I told him I had ruptured a disc over a year ago. He asked me to stand and said "don't you dare let anyone operate on your back, you will not be fine". He began to rub my head, stroking. It was not a massage, he was barely touching my hair. He was speaking very softly as if reassuring himself almost in prayer that I was fine and that everything was going to be fine. He moved his hands to my neck and stopped. He said, "I see your problem between L4 and L5". My eyes had been closed up until this point. I was in shock. Not even my mom knew the details of the location of my disc rupture. She could not have mentioned it to him before. I was speechless.
He asked me to rest on the stretcher face down. I did. My mom was watching the entire time. He began to tell me how I was fine and how he was fixing my disc. He was passing his hands over my back on each side of my spine up and down. He touched every vertebrae softly. I could feel his touch. I could feel his energy run through my back. There was a point where I stopped feeling tense and let go. As he continued, he came to the point of my ruptured disc. Mind you that neither my chiropractor, massage therapist, nor orthopedic surgeon had been able to place their hands on that spot with out me screaming in pain. He touched the area. I assume it was barely, it must have been his energy because I felt no pressure at all. He counted 1,2, 3 and tapped it very very lightly. I felt that.
The entire time he worked on my back, my mom said that he became increasingly agitated. He broke out in a sweat. Mom had visited him various times before and taken other family members. She had never seen him like that.
Anyway, as he said 3, I felt something. It was very hard to describe. I felt a difference. I felt pain free. He ordered me to get up. I could not. I was in shock. I could not believe I even remembered what it was like to feel painless. I broke down and cried. It took me a whole minute to get up. I still could not believe I did not feel pain. Even my meds had not put me in that state.I got up crying. In complete awe. I shook his hand and he said I could hug him. I did.
He asked why I had not come sooner. I told him I could not make the drive once I decided to see him. He said that it was no excuse, that he had been waiting for me. He said he would've sent a chauffeur to get me. I walked out.
Mia and Diego were anxious to know if he had "fixed" me. It told them that I felt very comfortable. I was not sure what he had done but I thought that it had helped tremendously. They were ecstatic. I felt so much peace my friends. I can't describe the state I was in. I think it was peace.
I wasn't sure I could drive home. I was taking inventory of my feelings. Once we did make it home, I must have slept for two hours. I don't usually nap unless it is a med nap :) I felt so good. I had a wonderful day on Friday. I went to bed in this hellish heat complaining about nothing more than that... the heat. My back was fine.I woke up a little achey. My aches went away by noon. It has been over 24 hours and I feel fine. I feel great. I walked out of there without my cane and am walking around cane free.
I am heading home in the next couple of days. I need to get back here to Monterrey in the next week or so for a follow visit with the doctor.
If you have read this far, thank you. I thought it was important to share with you how amazingly well I feel right now. I love you and send you some of this great energy.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Cielo Rojo ( Red Sky) -Lila Downs

Red Sky over Alburquerque photo by Maggie Price

I thought I would post these lyrics because I have been thinking about women's passion and desire a lot.My art work is expressing that more. What I like about this song is that it has two women singing to each other. about their love and forgiveness-longing. Maybe its menopause that has made me enjoy taste or sounds more intensely. I breathe much more deeply.I love bigger better.Maybe its that I broke open and not mended shut. Still voy caminando..pero donde?..Does it really matter when you are in the present time?

Sin tu cariño
Voy caminando
Voy caminando
Y no sé qué hacer
Ni el cielo me contesta cuando pregunto por tí, mujer.
Mientras yo estoy dormido
Siento que vamos
Los dos muy juntos
A un cielo azúl
Pero cuando despierto- el cielo rojo
Me faltas tú.
Deja que yo te busque y si te encuentro
Y si te encuentro
Vuelve otra vez
Olvida lo pasado
Ya no te acuerdes de aquel ayer
Olvida lo pasado
Ya no te acuerdes de aquel ayer.

All by myself
Without your love I go walking
I go walking
And I do not know what to do
and the sky wont answer me when I ask for you, woman.

While I'm asleep I feel that the two of us are beside each other
in a blue sky
But when I awake, the sky is red.
I miss you.

Let me find you and if I encounter you
And if you encounter me again,
Forget the past
And lets not remember yesterday.
Forget the past
And lets not remember yesterday.

Monday, June 1, 2009


Greetings Family of Light
Today, Crystal 1, May 30th, 2009 is Blue Crystal Hand.On December 21, 2012, the completion of the 5,125 year cycle of the Ancient Maya, it will also be Blue Crystal Hand.On the Buddhist calendar, today also marks Buddha Shakyamuni's Birthday.

I wanted to send a very quick note out to invite you all to be aware of this and to use today to imprint the most positive energy and vision possible, for right NOW and for the continued unfolding of our nows as we keep spiralling together through the shifting of World Ages...Tomorrow, Crystal 2, May 31, Yellow Cosmic Star, will mark exactly 1300 days left as we collectively journey through The "Closing of the Cycle."

I send unspeakable love to you all, from the heart of my heart.Thank you, deeply, for the work you are all doing in your inner and outer lives to refine and purify yourself as together we keep growing into the shining light of our Truest Nature.

May we all keep looking to our heart as our deepest source of guidance of how to navigate these days and these moments...And of course, as of today, we have entered the CRYSTAL MOON OF COOPERATION.MOON 12 always correlates to May 30 - June 26.This 28-day cycle is also encoded with the focus of: DEDICATION and UNIVERSALIZING.

Now that we have liberated and released in the previous 28-day Spectal Moon which we just completed, it is now time to allow everything to come together into a HIGHER ORDER!In this process, let us learn in a whole new way what it means to cooperate, not only with each other and the many elements of our lives, but also with our own higher selves so that as much as possible, inside ourselves, we can know we are working to come into our highest alignment.The more things come into a higher order, the more "shareable" they are.

This Crystal Moon also embodies the power of the CIRCLE in which all kin hold equal place and power. This is why people in 90 countries have "Crystal Day Round-tables" every 13 days when this tone comes around. It's also because Tone 12, Crystal, is also about reviewing the past and taking stock of where we are at and where we are going.

And of course, last but not least, let us contemplate the code "CRYSTAL" and see what insights and clues that may have for us...And of course, today, Blue Crystal Hand is called a "Magic turtle day" because the tone of the day and the tone of the month match - it is a DOUBLE CRYSTAL DAY!

I'll see you in the one heart as we keep unfolding and flowering together!

In Lak'ech - I am Another Yourself,Eden Sky, Red Self-Existing Skywalker

PS: On Crystal 27, June 25, 2009 Red Crystal Skywalker, I will giving a talk entitled "2012: The Mystery of The Maya" here in my hometown of Portland, Oregon. If any of you are in the area, please join me!
Here is the link: